Ocean

Thoughts behaving like waves
They rise and fall
Some reach the shore, some crash against rocks
It’s hard to tell where they lead
They break as soon as I begin to follow
They all seem meaningful
Yet they amount to nothing
It is a test of patience
I yearn to create something of purpose
Or become someone with a reason to be
But I come up empty handed
Every time I dive deep into my ocean
Nothing seems to want to come to the surface
I see so much potential, try so hard to give it direction
But maybe I am just delusional, and those are someone else’s expectations of me

After all what have I ever accomplished to begin with?
I have failed to prove my worth to myself
I want to come up with something so badly
Something that shakes the world at its core
But in reality, I just want to create something
That proves to myself that I am worth existing

It gets harder every day to swim in this ocean
Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth the effort
Should I keep swimming, or should I sink?
Drown under just like my reflection, into my reflection
Sometimes when I am just beneath the surface
I try to turn around and catch a breath
But suddenly I find myself caught between two oceans
There’s no room for breath, only suffocation
Is it my mind telling me to quit?
I want to make something out of this ocean
The splashes I make aren’t enough to keep me floating